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Last Updated Thursday March 22 2018 01:36 AM IST

Keep these 5 points in mind to squash your working mom guilt

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Working mom

It’s every working mom’s bane to bear the guilt of not being there for the kids as much as she’d love to. Although it’s a no-win-no-lose situation, a wee bit of sensible planning and the willingness to take on the break-neck pre-school morning chores with cheer can go a long way in giving all working women as well their families a daily dose of wellness.

There’s a lot of demand on a woman’s time, mental and physical resources at the workplace. Deadlines have to be met, hours may stretch to eternity with a climb up the ladder depending on the tasks fulfilled. On top of the pile comes the guilt that the need for achievement comes at the expense of the home and the kids.

Free yourself from guilt

Quite often career commitments keep you from giving your all to the family. This disconcerting factor drives a woman on a guilt trip. Now is the time for a bit of introspection. Think of the positives. A working woman means extra income for the family which fortifies it. More income translates to more living comforts, more extra activities for the kids, which don’t come free. The family is much better off, socially and economically. There are umpteen women who do a fine job of juggling job demands and family chores with enviable balance.

1. Take care of kids’ welfare

Daycare centers are the usual safe zones working moms prefer to send their kids to. There are others who prefer to keep kids with an ayah at home.

Here’s a word of caution. Before sending a kid to daycare centers or play schools, it’s advisable to verify the credentials of such care homes. Where the child’s safety is concerned, no compromises need to be made. Parents, especially moms are advised to meet the authorities running the daycare centers, check out the facilities and comforts offered there and make surprise visits, if necessary, to the centers. Likewise, a background check on ayahs hired is imperative. If options are open for zeroing in on an ayah your friend or relative knows personally, that should be the best bet. The safest hands to place your kids in would be that of your parents, if you are blessed with their presence.

2. Avoid the morning frenzy

Let not your house be a war zone every morning. Where shouting, screaming, wailing and cribbing seem to be the patterns set to follow, a bit of calm and planning can drive in some sort of sanity to an otherwise madhouse atmosphere.

It’s stressful to have to rudely pull the kids from bed, get them to wash and dress, feed them, yell at them to pack their bags, play hide and seek with one of a pair of socks, polish a muddy pair of shoes, go hunting for misplaced school IDs, look for the angry hubby’s missing purse and finally confront a child wailing over an unfinished bit of homework. The list is endless.

3. Plan well

Skip this frenzy with a proper schedule. If things are set in order the previous night, you can say bye to a lot of stress and confusion. Kids should be taught to pack their schoolbags as per each day’s timetable. Get the uniforms, shoes, socks and IDs ready.

Give breakfast some thought the previous night itself. This will go a long way in having a smooth run. The day itself becomes pleasant and fruitful when everyone enjoys breakfast together. The positivity keeps the family energized the whole day.

4. A family calendar

It’s great to keep a family calendar, to note down important days and events. This will help you keep a tab on important dates for bill payment, open house meetings, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and the all-important family outings. This will also make it easier to remember what’s due when and also aid you in planning well in advance.

5. Pep up the kids

The family is, after all, the most important factor and it’s imperative that one does not fail to remember what kids deem is most important to them. Reward them when they perform well and connect with them always. For example, call them up if they are at home on holidays and you are in office. And finally, listen to them. They need to know that you have all the time in the world for them.   

The opinions expressed here do not reflect those of Malayala Manorama. Legal action under the IT Act will be taken against those making derogatory and obscene statements.

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