The early stages of a relationship would be sweet and interesting. Many couples have fond memories of those days, but it can be noticed that such nostalgic feelings arise from the problems they face during the present.
When two people know each other better, the curiosity that was present earlier disappears. Their difference of opinion may sometimes flare up and turn into fights. The cordial relation partners have during their initial days may not last long.
To prevent these rifts from turning worse, some points may be remembered. By taking these steps, disasters in marital life can be avoided.
The freedom to criticize
Nobody is beyond criticism as nobody on earth is perfect. The first major factor in a relationship is the freedom one gives to a partner to point out mistakes. However, to make this freedom last, mutual trust is necessary between partners. It is only when there is mutual trust will a person recognize that his or her partner is pointing out the faults with a good intention.
If the partner objects to any action of yours, try to understand the problem rather than muzzling him or her. Have an open and frank discussion on the matter. Reveal why you hold a particular opinion and be willing to correct yourself if you are wrong.
However, this would be possible only between partners who have mutual trust. If such trust is lacking, the dispute may escalate as each of the partners tries to justify his or her stand.
So, the first step in a relationship should be to build mutual trust and being sincere.
Console, do not find fault
The approach towards a partner who is in trouble is important. Many people try to find the reasons when something goes wrong. But what has to be done is to give support to the person who needs it. They have to be made to feel that you share their troubles.
Whenever your partner suffers a setback, console him or her. The reasons for the trouble can be investigated later. But when doing so, care needs to be taken to avoid blaming the other person.
Instead of ‘Why did you do that?’ ask ‘How did this happen?’
That makes a world of difference. The latter query seeks to find out the circumstances that led to the trouble rather than making your partner guilty.
Nobody can bear direct accusations and the second type of question does not have such an allusion.
Present the problem
There are people who may repeat a mistake. If such a person is in a relationship, the partner may feel annoyed over this habit. Temper may be lost if a mistake that had been corrected earlier is made again. But if this anger is directed at the other person, things may go out of hand. It is better to explain your feelings instead of displaying anger.
For example, if your partner does not wash his dish even after repeated reminders, tell him how depressed you feel. This will be more effective than shouting.
A relationship involves two individuals who have decided to live together. Though united as a couple, both of them have separate personalities, traits and thoughts. Imposing one's personal opinion on the other is a wrong tendency that would do no good to anyone. If one partner tries to control the other as well as issue ‘orders’, the relationship will no longer be healthy.
In case you find that the partner is doing something you do not approve of or that could be harmful, try to reason with him or her. Forcibly blocking their action is best avoided. Alternatives can also be explored.
Learn to overcome fights
Disputes between partners are crucial in a relationship. A major fight between the couple may even lead to break-ups. Most partners are clueless regarding how to repair the damage caused by such fights. The words one may utter during a dispute and the ensuing action will remain a blot on his or her life.
Psychologists suggest some methods to overcome this situation. The most effective among them is to physically bring about calmness of the mind. If a fight has taken place between the couple, go out for a walk together after a ceasefire has been called. A short trip by car is another option. Watching various sights along the way, such journeys will make the mind of each partner peaceful. Another advantage is that being away from the scene of the fight will help one focus his or her mind on the main issue and see things clearly.
You can realize whether the fault is on your side or on the other by removing yourself from the place for some time. The real cause of the problem will also be revealed.